#not asmo slander

[byakuyacoochie]

The nighbringer character models send me straight to uncanny valley 😳

Me and you both 😳, the asmo snaps have been terrorising me. I tried to screenshot but they made it so you can't....that's probably for the best honestly

[kuroo-hitsuji]

Made it with an hour to spare 😎

Read right to left bc i Always end up with everyone facing the Worst direction for drawing their hair so i had to fix that--

This is so dumb sjshsshgd happy birthday Mephisto get surprise objectified i guess???

[pandora-whowalksbetween]

updates on the "it’s my party” x “getcha!” mashup:

I may have found a voice clip I can use

i feel like i did asmo dirty in the first verse bUT MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T HAVE COME AT US TRYING TO BRIBE MC!!!

[asexual-levia-tan]

this is about how i imagined he'd think, honestly.

for example, take the story about how asmo was exorcised and forced away from his lover. and how unfair and mean that was. i dont doubt that asmo mightve really loved that person, and that person probably felt really happy to be with asmo under the charm. and so asmo didnt feel like he was doing anything wrong. he was making people happy.

heres the other possibility though! im bringing up simeon again (ill find this lesson one day, pretty sure it was a hard lesson) but its not like asmo was trying to charm him when simeon mentioned feeling strange. its entirely likely that asmo exudes charm naturally, and potentially uses it accidentally on purpose when he finds someone he likes.

in both of these cases, i bet he probably really does enjoy that the mc is unaffected by his charm. he knows for certain their feelings for him are true and totally unaltered by him even accidentally

[koolades-world]

Can you do Obey Me headcanons of a Christian MC? MC isn't a toxic one though, they're actually super nice and supportive of everyone and such. They're also generally really trusting and try and see the best in people. They're more or less just extremely concerned and slightly uncomfortable with the entire being kidnapped and brought to hell thing(and also being forced to attend school again)

They also got really excited when they learned angels were gonna be attending RAD too, so there's that lol

Like when they saw Simeon and Luke for the first time they mentally went "THIS IS A MOMENT IN HISTORY!!!! TAKE A PICTURE!!!"

haha hi!!

when I first saw this I was really looking forward to doing it! been thinking about it a lot

one of my best friends is actually a christian who plays obey me, and she was the one to introduce me to the game. I think she would find this funny, so I'll def be thinking of her while I write this haha (if you're reading this, which you very much might be, heyyyy happy late bday girl)

Christian Mc

Lucifer

once you realize who he is, you're freaked out, both in a good and bad way

like, this is the lucifer! you ask to take a picture lol (and he's not amused)

you're a little sad and relieved when he pawns you off to mammon, since you're awed by his presence but also terrified since you knew the part he played in the bible by heart

once you get to know him, the both of you chuckle about human depictions of him and you finally get that picture! be sure to make him sign it and then frame it

Mammon

learns quickly just how many copies of the bible you own once he spends enough time in your room including but not limited to the version on your phone, the mini version in your RAD bag, and the one you keep on your side table

once you get to the stage of basically living together, he learns that you read the bible and say a prayer nightly

at first, he was nervous having to be the one to guide you but he learnt you were probably more scared of him, and you were actually just so sweet

he jokingly picks up all of the jesus merch he finds so now you have an entire shelf

Levi

the most normal out of the brothers besides the fact that he spends all his time in his room, but that kind of reminds you of a brother you only see like once a day

it's almost scary and a little jarring walking into his room, but after that, you guys get along so well

he admits that he thought the exchange program was weird, and it was all history after that

unlikely besties: a devout christan human and their gamer social outcast demon

Satan

highkey fuming about the fact that humans don't know that he and lucifer are different (he for sure smashed up an entire room of the house)

after he calms down from this though, although it takes a while for the two of you to get to know each other, he takes joy in making fun of the slanderous things said about lucifer

you both like to read but the only thing you reread and read nightly is the bible so

luckily he doesn't care about that since it wasn't his dad anyways (don't remind him that it's technically his grandpa's book)

Asmo

the first time you showed him biblical version of him, he was disgusted and refused to speak to you for the next two and half days

after that he feels a little bad since he knows you didn't mean it like that and since you basically tip toe around him

after that he comes on a little strong, but after a while you get along pretty well despite being so different

he’ll reminisce while you listen carefully and hold onto every work he says since he was a real angel and that’s so cool

Beel

while you were initially terrified of him, you quickly learnt how much like he actually was

at the core, you were both just a kind person (or demon) who wanted to help others and uplift them

always there for you to lend a listening ear and to help out out if others are giving you problems

the first in the devildom to make you feel truest welcome and let you know that you could call it home

Belphie

at first he thinks it’s a joke and kinda pokes fun at it

once he realizes you’re being serious, he feels a little bad but also still thinks is very funny how you hide your face behind a bible when you’re scare

has had holy water thrown at him, and has found a bible under his pillow before (gosh who could’ve done that…)

used to jump out at your from around corners in his demon form and it sent your running every time so you can prepared with a rosary blessed by the pope to shove in his face if he dare to try again

[misc-obeyme]

Lucifer is the type of guy who will walk it off after breaking both his legs.

Mammon is the type of guy to say "god damn it!" On accident.

Levi is the type of guy to think he's being secretive when everyone knows.

Satan is the type of guy to ask are you ok while you're actively bleeding out.

Asmo is the type of guy to ask which looks better with two identical shirts.

Beel is the type of guy to go to a restaurant after he clearly already ate at another.

Belphie is the type of guy to say "sleep it off" when you have trouble sleeping.

Brother slander. Purgatory hall is next.

Bows for barb

Yeah because Lucifer is an idiot. How do you walk off broken legs? If anyone can do it, he can.

I feel like the Mammon one has happened in canon?? Wait he's definitely said damn it, but perhaps not with the god... and then it's back to the question of whether or not saying words like god hurts demons... but it'd be funny if it did lol.

Poor Levi... but yeah that sounds accurate to me.

HA okay yeah I can see Satan doing that. Hmm are you okay, MC? You seem to be losing a lot of blood.

And then when you point it out, Asmo's like NO this one is light grey and this one is heather grey, they are completely different colors!!

Beel is probably still hungry, too. The first restaurant is glad to see him go because he ate everything they had.

Classic Belphie brat response. I'd be like do you not understand the issue here??

Everybody needs a little brother slander in their life.

[anikasheep]

Replaced MC AU

Warnings: afab mc, chubby mc, short mc.

Reblog is the best support so please.

Don’t like don’t read.

When Diavolo announced that the new human exchange student would come.

After hearing about the arrival of a new human exchange student, MC is looking forward to making new friends.

Whether they are regular humans, witches, or warlocks, the MCs want to maintain friendly communication with each other.

Of course, they won't force each other, they just want to help them not to be lost in the magic world as they were at the beginning.

The seven brothers have mixed emotions at the beginning on the contrary, they might look forward to new humans under the MC's influence, but after seeing the MC's reaction, they don't want the MC's attention to be completely drawn away from them.

If the new human attracts the brothers.

Asmo is probably the first one to be friendly to the new lamb. He has the ability to see the beauty inside a person and he would be the bridge between his brothers and the new student. But if the new student thought that Asmo would trust them so easily, then they were wrong. Asmo is picky and he knows only MC and his brothers would love him no matter what. Since he’s the queen of gossip, he’d know the moment if the new student dared to say some misinformation about MC. No one could hurt or slander the second most beautiful creature in the three worlds under his watch.

Levi would be the second one since he actually has the urge to meet new people. However, he would be struggling because he felt guilt for betraying MC unless MC could comfort him that it’s not betraying and he’s just gonna have a new friend not replace them for the new student. But this sensitive and shy boy would remind himself that he can’t let MC feel they’re neglected. The Lord of Shadow wouldn’t forget and neglect Henry even though he has a new friend, and so does he.

The twins might be the third ones if the new exchange student is kind enough to give Beel some delicious food or be nice to sleepy Belphie. But they won’t give their trust credits soon, the twins would show their friendly but it’s not because they trust the student or like them already. They still need more time to ensure that this human wouldn’t threaten their family. It’s hard for the twins to replace MC with the new human unless they’re Lilith, but even though the new human is Lilith herself, the twins make sure that they enjoy MC and Lilith’s company. Beel and Belphie wouldn’t waste the chances with both of their favorite humans and they believe that MC are irreplaceable.

Mammon is proud of himself that he’s MC’s first demon. He’s greedy so he would be hostile to the new student and assumed that the human is trying to steal MC’s attention. He’d love to see if other brothers have less time with MC. He’d tried to threaten the new student for money and be scolded by Lucifer. He only hangs out with the new student sometimes when they ask him nicely or for goods. He might start thinking the new human is not bad but the intimacy level wouldn’t be higher than Luke. You better believe that you and Mammon belong to each other or this sweet idiot demon would cry, MC.

Satan though would be the SECOND one to act nice to the new human, but that is just all for polite and act. It’s hard to earn his trust, even though the new human also loves cats so much, the trust wouldn’t be the same as he trusts you. Still, would try to pull the new student to join the ANTI-Lucifer League. He knows the pain and the wrath when your whole being vanishes and only exists for someone’s replacement. You’re one and only, MC. He would remind you every single day if you forget that.

As the Avatar of Pride and the eldest, Lucifer who’s the last to trust the new student is predictable. Of course, he would supervise that his siblings wouldn’t harm the new fragile student or be harmed if the new student is a witch or a powerful sorcerer. He wouldn’t tolerate some mere human toy with his brothers and try to tear his family apart. Like Mammon, he is secretly glad that if you have more time alone, you’ll spend more time with him. If you feel lonely, the door of his room is always open for you, MC. And don’t assume that he’d easily replace you for some human, you’re one of his family members and that’s decided in his heart even before he knew you’re related to Lilith. It’s what you’ve done for them and your kindness makes you a family, not just some bloodlines. And he won’t let anyone forget that, not even you.

[airbendertendou]

for your event : number 19 with any obey me character

an angsty, thrillier-esque number 19 + satan from obey me reader gets injured , slight gore

"I'M ALWAYS QUICK TO RAGE!"

"name, move."

you tremble, but hold steady in front of your fellow student. they were only helping - truly, they hadn't meant to knock your coffee onto satan's book. besides, it was your coffee. he should be mad at you.

"it was an accident," you say calmly. your heart jumps to your throat, clutching and closing it slowly. you gulp, "that's all. a simple accident."

the blond grits his teeth, his fangs digging into his bottom lip. "what's simple about a ruined book?"

"i'll pay for it-!" the demon behind you squeaks.

you adjust so that they're shielded once more. "i'll fix it. it was my coffee, anyways."

glaring green eyes look at you, the flames inside dimming slightly. his shoulders quake, fighting with his own emotions ; fighting within his own mind. "you didn't spill it."

"i could've," you insist, "anyone could've."

satan huffs and you swear you can see steam escaping his nose. before you can blink, you and the demon you were protecting are on the ground. the sight of blood hits you before the pain does. automatic tears fill your eyes as you sniff, bringing your limp arm to your chest.

at the sight of blood - your blood - satan snaps out of his rage. asmo is there, suddenly, solomon and simeon in tow. he glares at his younger brother, "what did you do?"

your voice weakens, unable to defend anyone anymore.

——♡—— i will hear no fnaf slander ]:<

request your own here ♡ read more

[irishmammonagenda]

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[mellonyheart]

I honestly love all the brothers. They're all unique and interesting. I truly adore them.

Asmo is no exception. He is queen. He's lovely.

Today I learned that Asmo doesn't like Mammon's way of speech. That is officially the only thing about Asmo I don't like. Literally the only thing.

If this prompts anyone to slander either (or honestly any) character I'll block you. Adding this because I refuse to feed Asmo haters. Only love (however complicated) is allowed here.

Edit: OP had seen the explanation and reblogged. Chill 'yall.

[jazeswhbhaven]

I feel like I have to make a disclaimer....

Since this recent thing I'm seeing of LaDS players getting upset with a tik toker for her Sylus slander.

Anything I say here in terms of "hate" toward MC, Levi, Asmo not showering, any of that is not to be taken seriously.

This is how I joke about these characters. I am very neutral when it comes to "hating" on 2D folks. It's face value and that's it. I reserve my emotions for real things and real ppl. You won't see me go to someone else's post and be like 'EW YOU LIKE LEVI? >:(' like...especially if they are a fan of him. That's also why I tag the MC hate posts accordingly because someone nicely asked me to so they don't see it pop up on their feed. Please, do not come over here actin' a fool over some damn pixels I'm too old for that (and so are you please be fr, I'm a REAL person) (for context there were folks being racist toward the tik toker and it's like??? ya'll foreal?)

[alexxncl]

brothers' daily chats & calls

masterlist | dateables/side characters chats

disclaimer: idk the official names for any of the chats and i'm too lazy to figure them out

lucifer

birthday call

lucifer's exhaustion pt. 3

drunk (level 30 intimacy call)

garden hose

birthday call (year 2)

mammon

first man callback

jealousy

patch me up

stolen noodles :(

birthday call (year 2)

leviathan

hangout (level 20 intimacy call)

date (level 25 intimacy call) pt. 1, pt. 2

big brother levi (nb lesson 42)

romancing is hard

birthday call (year 2)

satan

birthday call

magic tricks

claw machine & cat plushie

anger (level 25 intimacy call)

birthday call (year 2)

sentimental shoelaces

asmodeus

satan's place in the family (level 10 intimacy call)

dream pillow ventures

birthday call (year 2)

beelzebub

birthday call (year 2)

og callback ??? (level 25 intimacy call)

belphegor

catching lucifer napping

blisters

other/multi

36: dinner duty (lucifer ramble)

the demon brothers (new): teasing levi

the demon brothers (new): luci roasting satan

no big brothers allowed (new): lucifer's exhaustion pt. 1

the fantastic three: lucifer's exhaustion pt. 2

tea demons: lucifer's exhaustion pt. 4

no big brothers allowed: satan's claw machine & cat plushie

the demon brothers (new): asmo's dream pillow ventures

the demon brothers (new): anti lucifer league repercussions

1235: simeon's phone

big brothers: satan got struck by lightning ??

no big brothers allowed (new): lesson 45

brothers no more (new): lesson 50

HOL (new): sticker saga pt. 1

the fantastic three: sticker saga pt. 2

shameless slander: lesson 52

the demon brothers (new): mammon is amazing (ft. satan)

[ewesless]

These Outfits

Somehow I completely did not see them until just now and I wish I could go back to that blissful ignorance.

🎉New tag!🎉 Slander is now in use! It's not serious, I'm just in a constant state of 😒 with Obey Me.

Fashion Roast Go Go Go!

Asmo is giving Miami Vice Sonny Crockett and therefore is an 80's sex symbol so he's the best one... except for those sneakers.

Belphie is giving Soft!Country Boy. If it was Red he would look just like some of the irl guys I know. He listens to Country-Rock, but doesn't care for it. I can tell. His is the true best/believable one.

Satan is giving bratty, barely-out-of-his-tweens, son who is the smart, sarcastic, and mature one from a 90's Era Blended Family SitCom (aka Obey Me, but set in the 90's)

Lucifer! WHAT IN THE PAISELY PRINT PHUCK?!?!

Leviathan is committing a fashion crime worthy of capital punishment.

Beelzebub is his d3ath row cellmate.

And I don't really have anything to say on Mammon's so he gets a okay no that can't pass but I couldn't think of anything to say :/

[miss-nandini]

Meme Time

Satan and MC decide to be poetic

Satan: "MC, I love you so much."

MC: "Me too?" 🤨🤨 *no idea about his sudden teenage boy mood*

Satan: "I can write your name in the sand."

MC: "Oh yeah? Water will wash it away." 🤔🤔

Satan: "Then, I can write your name on the stone."

MC: "Look at the temperature outside. It's going to burn." 😟😟

Satan: "Fine, then. I'm going to write your name in my heart."

MC: "People will slander." 🙊🙊

Lucifer: 😶😶😶😶

Mammon: 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Levi: 🫣🫣🫣

Satan: 😏😏😏

Asmo: 🙀🙀🙀

Beel: 😟😟😟

Belphie: 🤐🤐🤐

[incorrectrad]

Belphie: Blue M&Ms are the best.

Satan: whAT IS THIS SLANDER?

Belphie: What about it? They are.

Satan: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY MINECRAFT SERVER!

Satan: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST!

Belphie: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO!

Beel: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything.

Asmo: I like the yellow ones.

Satan and Belphie: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!

[princessasmosprincess]

Charmed, I'm Sure

Chapter 26

Summary: No human has ever avoided Asmodeus's charm. Except for you.

Pairing: Asmodeus x GN Reader/MC

Genre: Drama, angst, a bit of fluff.

Warnings: Sleep inducing magic.

***

Author's Note: I made it in 27 days, that's an improvement for me ;3

***

“I see.” Diavolo folded his hands in front of him on the dinner table as Barbatos began to serve dessert, “So that's how you managed to make it safely out of the underground labyrinth.”

Diavolo had asked for a retelling of your group’s adventure and it had taken all of dinner to explain. Solomon meticulously reported the group’s every move starting from the moment he summoned Asmo to his side, while Mammon and Levi filled in the parts before their party had met up with yours. Beel’s contribution to the conversation was mostly in the form of affirmative grunts as he stuffed his face with Barbatos’ delicious cooking. Every so often, Diavolo would ask direct questions of you or the others, listening intently all the while.

Asmo butted in when it came to the part he had played in the grand escape. His interpretation of the events was quite theatrical and self indulgent, making it seem like using his charm on Henry had been his idea all along. You met eyes with Solomon from across the table but he’d just shrugged and neither of you said anything to correct Asmo’s embellishments to the story.

“You know, now that I think about it, the whole reason we were able to escape was because of me and how stunningly beautiful I am!” Asmo tossed his hair.

“Yeah, but you were also the reason all of you ended up in the labyrinth to begin with, Asmo.” Satan said.

“Right, that's what I'm sayin'. That was terrible, and it was all YOUR fault, Asmo!” Mammon pointed at him accusingly with his dessert fork.

Asmo glared daggers at his older brother. Lies and slander. It had all been a big mistake. Helene had just been too emotional to deal with seeing Asmo’s beauty after so long that she’d lashed out. Who could blame her? He really was that gorgeous. Asmo was about to say something to defend himself when Diavolo spoke.

“You really should be careful in the castle. There are a number of items here with suspicious histories to them.” The demon prince frowned, swirling his glass of Demonus. “I can't guarantee that there aren't others in the castle who also want to get even with you, Asmodeus.”

There was something he wasn't saying, Asmo could tell, just like earlier when he’d given Asmo that odd look before he’d left your assigned room.

But Asmo didn't care, not really. He didn't have time to figure out what Diavolo’s cryptic behavior meant. That was a job for someone closer to the prince, like Lucifer. He’d simply have to wait until Lucifer decided to tell him what it all meant, if it was even relevant by then.

“It's just wrong to be this beautiful…” Asmo sighed.

***

After dinner, everyone thought it best to retire for the night. It had been a very long day.

“Well, time for me to get some sleep. Nighty-night, you two!” Asmo said as he patted an evening moisturizing mask into his skin, his bangs pulled back with a couple of bobby pins. He’d forwent his usual leisurely bath in favor of a quick shower. It was impressive just how efficient his nightly routine was, completing the multi-step process in only minutes.

“You're going to bed already?” Simeon asked, paging through one of the books on the side table, “It's awfully early for that.”

“Lack of sleep leads to unhealthy skin, and I don't want that! I'm sure both of you want to see me looking my best, right?” Asmo hung his silk robe on a hook before searching for something in one of the several bags he’d brought with him. “We have the dance tomorrow, remember? I may no longer be an angel but I’m still that Radiant Jewel everyone knows and loves. I have to dazzle, that’s what people are expecting and I will not disappoint.”

“Well, I suppose that means that I'll get to enjoy some peace and quiet tonight, which is much appreciated.” Simeon selected a book, Dante’s Inferno, and sat on his bed, crossing his ankles as he cracked it open on his lap.

You changed into your pajamas behind the modesty screen, “I was thinking of going to bed now, too.” By the end of dinner you’d had difficulty keeping yourself awake. Satan had even needed to poke you in the side a few times as you’d spaced out over dessert. Your body and mind were worn out from everything that had happened in the labyrinth.

“I hope you have sweet dreams, MC,” said Simeon as he dimmed the lights of the room, leaving a single magically lit candle by his bedside for a reading light.

“Thank you, I hope you do too.” You pulled back the covers on your bed.

“The sweetest dreams are the ones involving me,” Asmo tossed a wink over his shoulder at you as he turned down his own bedding. He pulled out a cobalt blue spray bottle and spritzed the sheets about a dozen times until the vapor glittered in the air as it floated down onto the bed. He took a deep breath, inhaling the fragrance, “You’ll have to tell me if something spicy happens between the two of us, it’s only fair.” He set the bottle down on the bedside table before hopping onto his bed.

The poof of the comforter under Asmo’s weight sent a bit of the fine mist swirling in your direction, you could feel it settling over your skin. It was a pleasant scent, relaxing and cozy.

Asmo slipped a pink silk sleep mask over his eyes as he nestled into the plush bedding, his back turned to you.

The bedroom door burst open.

“HEY! Look who's here...it's Mammon! And you know what that means?! You ain't gonna be gettin' ANY sleep tonight! АНАНАНА!” He made a beeline for your bed and sat, bouncing a few times.

“Mammon, it's late,” you complained, making a point to lay back onto your pillow and pulling the covers over yourself.

Simeon gave a longsuffering sigh, “Asmo, he's your brother, isn't he? Do you think you could possibly do something about him?”

Asmo gave a low growl, tipping up the corner of his sleep mask as he sent a single sticker over text to Lucifer. How that could possibly be helpful, you weren't sure.

“All right all right all right! Time for a pillow fight deathmatch with the Avatar of Greed himself!” He clawed at your sheets as if to free you from your comfy nest of blankets, while you did everything in your power to keep them around you. “LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!”

The screen of Asmo’s D.D.D. went dark and he further cocooned himself in the plush comforter.

“Mammon, please,” You debated trying a pact command on him to get him to stop, but without the use of magic it was very hit or miss whether a command would “take”. It was more like a suggestion and gentle prodding in your favor rather than full control over him, and he usually had to be paying attention and already somewhat inclined to do what you asked. Right now Mammon was neither.

“Let's get started before that ass Lucifer comes round on patrol and starts botherin' us!” He laughed mischievously, tearing the pillow from under your head.

“I'm sorry. Who did you just call an ass?” Lucifer’s dark form filled the doorway.

“Yikes!” Mammon ducked behind your bed.

Lucifer crossed the room in three strides, “You're coming to my room. Now. And tonight it's not going to be just me in there, but Diavolo as well. I have a feeling we're going to have all sorts of fun, don't you?” His eyes glowing as his hand closed tightly around Mammon’s forearm, yanking him out the door and closing it behind him.

When the room was silent once again, Asmo shifted under the covers and Simeon resumed reading his book by candlelight.

Despite that brief disruption, you could feel the tension of the day rolling off of you as you settled into your own bed, replacing your pillow and cuddling into the comforter once more, everything fading to black as your eyes slipped closed.

You drifted off to sleep in a cloud of lavender and vanilla and something herbal you couldn't quite place…

***

You woken up way too soon by a knock at the bedroom door.

“Come in!” Asmo sang cheerfully. He'd already been awake for a while, having completed his morning skincare routine, now putting the finishing touches on his makeup as he hummed to himself.

The door swung open and Lucifer stepped into the room.

“Good morning, Lucifer,” Simeon stretched as he woke, greeting his former brother. “You're up bright and earlier than I’m used to. That’s two days in a row.”

“With good reason,” said Lucifer, his voice gruff from the earliness of the hour but his appearance pristine, “Breakfast will begin in twenty minutes, I trust none of you will be late, especially the two of you under my charge?”

“I’m almost ready,” Asmo said, twirling once in front of the bathroom mirror. “Oh but look at them, still snoozing away. It’s like we have another Belphie on our hands.”

You were still snuggled into the comforter.

It felt like it had been no more than a few minutes since you went to bed last night. Like Lucifer had dealt with Mammon and returned right away. Confused, you tried to will your eyes to open, but they wouldn't. Your mind was awake, and you could hear everything that was going on. But you were still tired.

It wouldn't take you that long to get ready, five more minutes of sleep would be fine…

Lucifer nudged your shoulder. “MC, wake up.”

“Mmh…” You rolled over in bed and sunk deeper into the covers, not being able to find the words to answer Lucifer or send him away.

With a sigh, he knelt at your bed, leaning over your sleeping form. The lingering scent of Asmo’s pillow spray wafted over you with his movement.

“Not a morning person? Well neither am I,” Lucifer’s low voice whispering in your ear would have sounded seductive if he didn't follow it up with a mild threat, “Downstairs in twenty minutes or I’ll have Beel eat your portion of breakfast.”

It didn't matter, your eyes still wouldn't open and your limbs felt heavy and useless. You couldn't get out of bed and you didn't really want to. It was too early for this, though you didn't know what time it was. You just knew you needed to sleep longer.

Your enchanted bracelet buzzed away on your ankle, feeling like a light shock of electricity, a zap running up your leg. But you began to tune it out. You were so… So sleepy…

Lucifer sniffed the air as he stood between your bed and Asmo’s. “Is that Nightfog oil?”

“Hmm?” Asmo was busy gazing into his own eyes in the mirror. “Oh, yes it is. It’s in that new pillow spray I got from Savonne,” he indicated the spray bottle on the bedside table, “Doesn't it just smell lovely?”

Lucifer gave an exasperated sigh, “Asmodeus, you can't use Nightfog oil around humans, not without taking extreme care. It’s too potent.”

“What? How was I supposed to know?” Asmo squeaked.

“You would know if you paid attention in Applied Magical Potions last semester,” Lucifer picked up the glass bottle and squinted to read the ingredients list. There was no warning label. He would have to inform Diavolo so the oversight could be corrected. “It can cause somnolence, and in large doses, prolonged sleep. You only used it on your own bed, correct?”

“Huh?” Asmo didn't realize he was gripping the edge of the countertop so tightly until he heard a faint pop sound and looked down to see the cracks spiderwebbing from his fingertips across the surface. He pushed off from the counter and went to dig in his makeup bag for some nail polish to fix a chipped nail. “Yes, I… It wasn't a very large dose, I just sprayed it a few times on the sheets.”

“They had no direct contact with it?”

Asmo shook his head, avoiding Lucifer’s eye as he twisted open the bottle of pink nail polish, trying to hide the slight tremor in his voice, “Th-they should be ok then, right?”

Lucifer shook you a bit harder to see if you would stir. “Direct contact or ingestion is when Nightfog oil is at its most…” He chose his words carefully, noticing Asmo’s anxiety, “Efficacious. The fact that it’s been diluted with other ingredients is also good but…” You just continued to sleep, now snoring lightly.

“Oh dear,” Simeon came to your bedside. “Is there something we can do? I would offer to give them a blessing but I don’t think that would be wise to do within the Demon Lord’s castle.”

“No, it wouldn't be.” Lucifer scrubbed his face with his hand. This was the last thing he wanted to be dealing with right now, especially at this hour. He waved toward the bed behind him, “We have to remove the stimuli. Strip the sheets and pillows from Asmo’s bed and have the little Ds come collect them. They’ll need to be replaced.” He got up and threw open the window while Simeon dealt with the bedding.

Asmo chewed on his lip as he watched from the bathroom doorway as Lucifer performed a spell to neutralize and expel the remaining scent. A light breeze rustled the sheets of your bed.

Lucifer moved to wake you again, rather aggressively if his body language was anything to go by, when Simeon laid a hand on his shoulder and took his place, kneeling by your side.

“MC, dear,” He brushed your hair out of your face, “It’s time to wake up.”

At Simeon’s caress, you began to stir. He helped you to sit up in bed as you stretched and woke.

“Nightfog oil, huh.” You grumbled, rubbing your tired eyes.

Asmo’s shoulders sagged in relief, as did Lucifer’s.

You swung your legs over the side of the bed and reached down to massage your calf, the shock from your bracelet only just beginning to fade.

“Crisis averted.” Lucifer shot Asmo a pointed look, “I think we can forgo punishment this time since it seems to have been an accident. The last thing I need is for Diavolo to complain that I’m being too hard on you again.”

“Again?” Asmo asked.

He picked up the bottle of pillow spray, ignoring Asmo’s question, “However, I'm confiscating this so you don’t accidentally put MC under a hundred years’ restless sleep.” He slipped it into his pocket with a wry smile as the clock tower chimed a quarter to the hour. Lucifer caught your eye, “Fifteen minutes.” And swept out the door.

You stood and stumbled your way to the bathroom to get ready, nearly bumping into Asmo.

Something strange crossed over Asmo’s face, but it was gone as soon as it came, “Oh my,” He giggled nervously as he took in your bed head and bleary, dark rimmed eyes, glaring right at him.

With a quick nod, he shoved a jar of eye cream into your hands and hurried after Lucifer.

***

The magic eye cream Asmo let you borrow made you look well-rested, but you were practically falling asleep at the breakfast table.

When Diavolo caught you yawning as you filled your plate, he recommended Assam tea and personally poured you a cup. You were sure you saw Lucifer laughing behind his hand when he saw your reaction to your first sip, but he hid it well, falling back into polite conversation before you could call him out.

You’d only been able to choke down the bitter tea once you added copious amounts of honey (of the non-poisonous variety, Mammon wouldn't pass you the jar until he’d made sure of that, despite Barbatos informing him he'd only set the table with human-safe options) and milk to it. The tea did give you a little caffeine buzz and helped you feel more alert, but sleep’s siren call still tempted you in the recesses of your mind.

“All right, it's time to explain what we have planned for day two of our retreat.” Lucifer said, standing at the head of the breakfast table once everyone had finished eating.

“A scavenger hunt, right?” said Simeon.

“Yes, we'll be having a scavenger hunt.” Lucifer confirmed. “Each group will be given riddles to solve. Each riddle hints at one of the works of art or historical items here in the castle. Once you figure out the answer, you find and take a picture of the item in question. The things you learned during yesterday's tour of the castle should come in handy as you try solving your riddles.” He passed out itemized lists to everyone.

“We're doing this in groups, huh? In that case, I'm groupin' up with MC.” Mammon reached for your hand.

“Why don't we just say that the groups will be made up of the same people you share a room with?” Diavolo suggested.

Mammon growled, there was no arguing with the prince, not while Lucifer was there. He stomped away to join his group as everyone left the table, lists in hand.

Simeon helped you up from your chair, while Asmo hovered at a distance, waiting as the other groups dispersed in random directions.

“Since you actually got to finish the tour yesterday, Simeon, you’ll have to lead.” You said.

“Of course, I’d be happy to,” said Simeon. He scanned down the list thoughtfully. “Hm, Let’s start with the difficult things first.” He chose a riddle at the bottom of the list and read it through a few times. “The answer to this one is… The enchanted moondial in the back garden.”

“Alright,” Asmo gave a mock salute and took off, not waiting for either of you.

With a shrug, you took Simeon’s offered hand and the two of you followed after him.

**

Cross-posted on AO3